One Share = A Golden Kiss

[westfallcorndog]

 "Shit, shit, shit!" Harrow whispers frantically to himself as he powerwalks through the Nexus holding his bag close at his side.

He forgot! He totally forgot! 

It had been at least a week since Nekomata gave him his orders. Sure it was a holiday game, and sure it wasn't actually an order, but it was still a quest, and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to finish it. Okay, so maybe he's damned regardless, but the sentiment stands:

Ixis Naugus Must Be Smooched.

"Naugus!" he hollers as he approaches the mage's tower. "Ixis Naugus! It's important! Get your ass down here NOW, man!"

Comments

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow stumbles back, frowning deeply at having been pushed away. He should have expected this, but somehow it still hurts. He thought you were one of the good ones, Naugus!

He spends a second looking at the picture on his screen, then chooses to turn it around for Naugus to see. Maybe he'll change his mind when he sees how perfect it is? If not, the trash can icon is right there in the corner. All it needs is a press, Naug.

[ixis]

He doesn't even give it longer than a second's glance. "No, delete it. It's terrible. You said it has to be the BEST picture. That's not the best. It was a terrible kiss. I clearly look startled in this photo. You look like you're about ready to dash the second I realize what's going on.

"We can do better."

[westfallcorndog]

Wh... What? It's one thing to know Naugus is a winner and believe you're going to get the best kiss photo with him, but it's another entirely to actually be there, smooch him on the lips, be told you're doing it wrong, and then hear it's time to try again. Harrow's brain takes a few seconds longer than it ought to to process that...

And then he complies! He grins as he pounds that delete button. His long legs and antsy feet can't help but do a little dance in place. He's going to be a winner. Life's Good™.

Then he crouches down so he's on eye level with Naugus. "So what's the plan, man?"

[ixis]

Naugus puts a hand to his chin, pondering. This has to be the BEST, right? This is about competition and he HAS to bring his A-game. Is he getting a cut of this prize? He better. Because Harrow HAS to win this at all costs now. It's got Naugus' photographically involved. That's even bigger than just signing off on it.

"It has to be more sincere. Nothing that looks like it was sudden. But not staged either! How much experience do you even have with kissing? I don't have to teach you how do to that, do I? Incidentally, do you even have the lips for doing it as a Mobian?"

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow mimics Naugus's thoughtful pose as he crouches there before the tower's entrance. It doesn't last long, though. Naugus is doubting his kissing skills, which at first brings up an offended scoff. But then... Mobian form...

Harrow frowns and takes a proper seat on the ground.

"Shoot, man. I never really got to try kissin' as a Mobian. Folks on my world think that form's too ugly for things like that. I only ever kissed folks as an Overlander. I got a lot of practice at that! But you think I oughta shift?"

Then, eyeing Naugus, he asks – with as little judgment in his voice as he can manage – "How 'bout you?"

[ixis]

Naugus waves Harrowheart in. Best to do this behind a closed door. For better strategizing.

"Ugly? Pssht. I'm more concerned about the mechanics of this. It's no good if you can only lick and not properly pucker up. It won't look at all like winning material. So I may have to endure your Overlander shape for this. Fear not, your awkward first attempt has at least acclimated me."

Naugus pauses his planning to give Harrow a curious squint. "How 'bout me what? Am I experienced with kissing? Of course I am. You doubt me being familiar with kissing?!"

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow slinks inside, laughing awkwardly as he does. His severed hands cling to the strap of his pack like remoras on a manta's wing.

"I only doubt 'cause... 'Cause you seem like a solitary guy and all, right? And I guess I figured if you ever did get with someone you'd have some kinda 'no mouth to mouth' rule."

Great. Naugus is more experienced with kissing. Which makes sense, in hindsight. The guy's as old as three grandpas, he's probably kissed at least once in his life. Twice, counting what just happened.

He sets his bag down on the couch and proceeds to take his shirt off, like that's a normal thing to do when you enter a friend's home. It makes a little more sense when he shifts into his worgen form immediately after. The gains on those pecs would tear that chintzy Earth tourist shirt he was wearing. Gotta protect the gear, repair bills ain't free.

And look at those jutting lower fangs. Kissing's going to be hard... But he does have lips, so it won't be impossible. But what's a little challenge for the great Ixis Naugus?

[ixis]

Naugus DOES wonder briefly at the shirt removal. Though if Harrow's taking his walking further inwards to his sanctum as a full-on invitation, the mage will take this in stride. Why not. He's not doing anything.

But then it just reveals it's a good idea to spare his shirt from getting shredded. Right, he forgot his worgen self is that much bigger! He looks Harrowheart over appraisingly, hmmming and and humming. That strong dog jaw is taken firmly in his hand and pulled down to where Naugus can examine those lips for smoochin' capacity. The tip of his claw runs curiously along that bottom one, tapping a jutting fang when it reaches one.

"Mmm, this could work. And if not, we resort to your usual self. How's that?"

[westfallcorndog]

"Whup!" It's all Harrow has time to say when Naugus pulls his head down and examines his snout. And then... Ah! Oh. Oh no. Naugus is dragging his fingers across his lips. That's just not something you do! His breath catches in his chest and his shoulders tense until it's his fangs that are being poked instead. What a relief.

Except not, because who gets all riled up when Ixis "Gargoyle Dad" Naugus touches your lips?

He doesn't even realize that Naugus was speaking until he's through. His ears swivel forward and back as they try to shake the memory of what was said out of his brain. Could work. If not, shift back. Phew. He nods slowly.

His hands float nearby with his camera ready. The implication that Naugus will have to get this ball rolling remains unsaid.

[ixis]

Naugus is a leader! Born and bred! Why else would he be an overlord of a zone of exile and aspire for being king of all he surveys? Of course he's gonna take the handle here.

"Ready?" Meaning the phone, of course. He gives it a glance and a smirk before leaning in. Time to test out the smoochin' powers of these doggy lips!

Naugus even closes his eyes and everything when his mouth meets the end of that snoot. And lingers there so Harrow can feel out if he can respond in kind for the perfect picture. All or nothin', kid! If you smooch like a drooly basset, we're gonna have to rethink.

[westfallcorndog]

Drool level: CONTAINED
Enthusiasm level: UNCONTAINED

Harrowheart is a sad little man inside of a sad giant man's body. Naugus has made the unfortunate mistake of kissing a sadsack, even in jest. As it stands he gets to be the brunt of a few months of spurned affections. Harrow can't drum up the bravery to proposition Jim, for all he knows he blew his chance with Isidor and hasn't had the express pleasure of meeting her yet in the swap thread thanks to linear time and anyone else he might have been interested in has made it extremely clear that he's an unsettling corpse unfit for attention.

Does he love Naugus? No, not at all. He hasn't got any feelings for him, really, other than admiration for his magic and his unreasonable biceps. Would he take him on a date, or hold his terrifying crab claw as they walk across a beach, or ever do anything like this again? Light, hopefully not. But will he be a creep who directs all of his sadness and loneliness at an evil ancient wizard-goblin?...

Oh yes. He snuffles in on that kiss like a pig rooting for truffles, like a dog eating out of a popcorn bag, like so many horrible, unsaid things.

This most unfortunate of jokes has gone too far, and the rumor demon will feast heartily tonight.

[ixis]

Whoa! Hey now, friendo. He doesn't expect that enthusiasm. It makes Naugus tilt his head back slightly, one eye flicking back open. There's a small 'mmf', one ear quirking upright in curiosity.

He waits until Harrow notices that he's stopped returning this smooch-for-a-prize affection before he says, "I'm not sure that'll photograph well." A glance again at the phone. "Did you even take one?"

Another pause before also asking, "Are you sure you were put up to this?"

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow's hands fumble the phone and he nearly drops it. He stammers a non-answer of vowels and grunts as he turns his head away from Naugus. Shame, shame, terrible shame. His ears press flat against his mane and he rubs at his snout with one hand.

"I– I'm sorry. I'm weird. I'm bein' weird," he mumbles. His hand with the phone floats towards his pocket and goes to slip it in and out of sight.

"You think I oughta go? Just pretend I never showed up, maybe?" It's hard to look at Naugus when he asks that, but at least the guy doesn't look too angry with him.

[ixis]

"But you didn't even get a picture! How are we going to win this without it!? Get back here." Competitiveness is in full swing now. He tugs at Harrowheart's arm, not letting this nerd escape yet!

"It wasn't even that bad. You can kiss in this form! A fine discovery. I won't have to pretend to enjoy kissing an Overlander. No offense." Smooch attempt, take 2.

[westfallcorndog]

His ears flick towards Naugus and he spends about a second looking confused before his arm is being pulled at. He can't help but laugh, and it's a laugh he sorely needed. He's in much better spirits and a clearer state of mind when he holds the phone up again. Look at the smile on those doggy lips!

And then kiss the doggy lips.

Now that he's a hair more confident with the business of worgen kisses he hooks one arm around Naug's shoulders and pulls him in for a second, much saner go. Finally, it happens. The promised GOLDEN SMOOCH. It's not perfect, no, but it'll make for a cute picture if Naugus does his part.

[ixis]

THERE. Much better. That's more like a kiss that's not going to make the person looking at it feel second-hand embarrassment or sadness. No sorrow for Harrow here.

Hopefully, the worgen doesn't puff up with fright when that crab claw braces itself on the guy's shoulder in return. And his hand, since he doesn't have to be fumbling with any stupid phones, he can use to ruffle that fuzz along Harrow's jawline. Touch this guy in all the picturesque ways to ensure they win! It doesn't even matter anymore what the prize is. Naugus just has to be the best at everything presented to him.

[westfallcorndog]

Who knew Naugus could turn this into the cover of a romance novel? All of us do now. When the kiss his through Harrow tries to restrain his smile. The twist that Naugus is a sweet guy isn't one he quite expected, but it's a good one none the less.

Harrow flips through the pictures he's taken of their latest kiss. With swiveling, disembodied hands it's easy to get a few angles in, some better than others. This is True Art, real photography. He shows it off to Naugus with a proud, doggy smile.

"You look real cute in photographs, you know that?" he asks quietly. "I think we're gonna win. Nah, I know it. Those other schmucks ain't bringin' half what we are."

[ixis]

"Cute? Are you sure? I would have thought of words like magnificent. Powerful. Impressive." He peers curiously at the phone screen to see if this horrid device really does render him cute. What would that even look like?

[westfallcorndog]

What would that look like indeed.

Harrow laughs as he taps the screen with one claw. A little menu comes up and he picks through the options until sparkles and hearts appear at the edge of the picture. He even adds a well-placed lens flare. All pretense of majesty and power is out the window. The memory of their kiss is now officially kawaii.