Agents of Sheildcraft

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow wanders the roads from the Residential district toward the Parklands with his head low, his worgen nose close to the ground sniffing and snuffling as he goes. He isn't above walking on all fours in his worgen form, at least so long as his hands are bound to his wrists. 

Naugus's tower is such a unique landmark that it would be impossible to miss it even if he didn't have the familiar smell of his new pal Verity to follow. The sight of green crystal on a wizard's castle undeniably points to this being the work of a certain Ixis. Harrow approaches on all fours and doesn't stand like a civilized Mobian should until he's just at the entrance. 

He pounds his fist against the green crystal door and hollers upwards, "Ixiiiiis! It's Harrowheart! I want to ask about your skills!" 

Once he's loudly made himself known he steps back and gazes up towards one of the windows, as if he expects to see that bat-eared beast looking down on him. 

Comments

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow takes his hot chocolate and whispers, "Thank you, Ver-bear," with a little smile. The mug is so small that he struggles to hold it in his large paws, and when he lifts it to his snout... Oh, there's no way he'll be able to do anything but dump its entire contents into his maw. He sets his drink down on the ground, stands, and shifts his form. A swirl of grey smoke surrounds him as he transforms back into a man too quickly for anyone to appreciate the details. Now he's just your average shirtless dead dude in a pair of jersey shorts drinking hot chocolate on a couch. What a let down.

"Verity, this is so good! I ain't ever had it like this! It's so creamy!" +250 Reputation with the Westfall Corndog. He loops his arm around Verity's shoulder and gives her a little half-hug before releasing her with a smile.

But then there's Naugus's troubling question to attend to! Harrow returns to drinking his hot chocolate to hide his concern. Because NOW he has concerns. His fingers drum against the side of the mug and his eyes roam around, and after one last sip he finally sets his drink down between his legs.

"N-now, Naugus..." He clears his throat. "When you say you got... physical demands, y-you don't mean..."

His hands slowly float in front of him. One forms a loop and the other pistons his index finger into it. In the background he frowns shamefully.

Are you trying to kill me? Because I am dead.

[brave_heart_verity]

Verity is so relieved Naugus isn't going to become a stoner. You have no idea, guys.

Sorry, Harrow, she just doesn't have the appropriate dishes for a werebeast yet. Rest assured, that's been added to her mental list of things to look for when she's out window shopping. He could have lapped it up, that wouldn't have bothered her half as much as where this conversation is going.

Also: this nickname thing is out of control. She blames Jim. (It's kind of adorable, though.)

"You're welcome. Glad you like it. I can teach you how to make it later if you'd like."

And then. That. No, just no. Verity turns beet red and jumps up again. "I am not adult enough for this conversation. I'm going to go to my room now." And then she does exactly that.

Because no. She's not going to think about her grandpa like that and you can't make her!

HAHAHA

[ixis]

He watches the gesture with a completely neutral expression, the meaning clearly taking time to render. There's way too long of a silence as his face remains blank.

Loading. . .Loading. . .

Eyes go big and ears shoot STRAIGHT UP.

Verity's already long gone by this point and rather than answer Harrowheart, he gets up and hurries after her. "VERITY!" He's at the door and banging his fist on it. "VERITY, I AM NOT ASKING HARROWHEART FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS. COME OUT."

The forum rp struggle: When the closest icon to 'worried screaming' is 'happy screaming'

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow leaps to his feet and hurries after with long strides.

"Verity!" he shouts at her door as he looms over Naugus. "Verity, it's okay! He wasn't askin' it! And besides, I wouldn't do it anyway! I only like buffs dudes!"

Well someone has never had Naugus interrupt breakfast without a shirt on before.

*even more ded*

[brave_heart_verity]

"I CAME IN HERE TO AVOID TALKING ABOUT IT," she points out. She is not coming out! They can't make her!

Okay, well, they can technically remove the door and probably drag her out, but short of that, not likely to happen until she's ready.

"You two can do whatever you want, you're both adults, just leave me out of it." Not everyone gets to have the good luck of seeing what cannot be unseen. Poor Harrow, if he only knew. "I'm going to stay in here until I'm not confused and embarrassed by everything, and then we can all pretend this never happened, okay?"

[ixis]

"VERITY, YOU ARE MAKING A VERY BIG DEAL OUT OF SOMETHING THAT IS NOT HAPPENING." He bangs his fist a few more times against the crystal door for good measure.

Although he looks back at Harrowheart with a raised eyebrow. "Buff? As in muscled? Boy, what are your standards if I don't qualify." Though still frowning, he flexes an arm demonstratively. Damn! Lookit that gun!

This probably isn't helping the case of Make Verity Stop Melting In Embarrassment.

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow opens his mouth to shout at Verity, but suddenly there's a buff arm up in his grill. His mouth forms a little 'o' and he stares at this shocking turn of developments.

"Damn, Naugus, I never even noticed. Is this like a vanity muscle deal, or do you work your core? These aren't magical muscles, right? You lift and shit?"

[brave_heart_verity]

"I'm not the one banging on a door making a big deal out of things!"

Oh dear gods do they have to do that right outside her door what did she ever do so wrong in her life.

Don't answer that.

This is my REAL christmas present right here.

[ixis]

"Magical muscles? What does that even mean? It's useful to be strong, so that's the long and short of it. A reasonable amount of exercise to keep in shape. Weights, pull-ups, sit-ups, so on. Probably the reason I never get sick either."

Because proving he's Harrow's type, or at least just wrong, is for some reason important here.

Naugus is the muscle wizard

[westfallcorndog]

"Magical muscles! Like illusions or somethin', man! But, shoot, you did all that yourself?"

He leans back, looks Naugus up and down, and starts to nod. "Damn, Naugus. I appreciate the Hell outta that kinda determination. I mean, I still ain't doin' you any 'woohoo bazinga' favors, but if I ever meet a lady-Naugus cruisin' for a man I'll be sure to remind her that you got biceps the size of my thighs."

Then he raises an eyebrow and asks, "Do you even like chicks? Do you even do romance at all? 'Cause y'know, I happen to be an excellent wingman. Bet I could find you a hot date with someone out there."

Naugus getting this new rep is a Christmas present that'll keep on giving to us all.

[brave_heart_verity]

SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE SHE HATES YOU.

And also, because she's decided to play some Apocalyptica to drown them out.

LA LA LA.

Harrow's all https://49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2e553gpmm1qfyz1jo1_500.gif

[ixis]

You know his history with Uma, Verity! You know he's been 'involved' at least once!

"Chicks? Oh, you mean women. Romance and otherwise is hardly a priority in my life, if that's what you're asking. I'm not going out of my way for any companionship, so please. You can save your efforts. And I'm certainly not so pathetic that I'd waste perfectly good favours and debt on carnal satisfaction." Seriously, who does that?

At least now that he's heard the music start up, he steps away from the door. She's not coming back out. "Never took her to be the squeamish sort," he comments to the worgen in passing.

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow has no problem following Ixis away from Verity's door. She deserves her peace and screaming music. "I can't believe folks get squeamish about love and romance. But maybe that's just me and my world. Folks do almost nothin' but talk about that, non-stop. After a while ya get used to it.

"But I wouldn't'a used up your favor on bein' your wingman, Naugus! That comes free of charge just for knowin' me. It's a blessing and a curse. If you are ever in the mood for company, I bet I could hook you up with my buddy Jim. He travels space and gets with aliens all the time, I'm sure he'd like you."

Good thing Too bad Verity didn't have to hear THAT one.

[brave_heart_verity]

It's "Hall of the Mountain King", you philistines.

And yes, it's so much better than being present when Naugus loses his mind in 3, 2, 1...

[ixis]

He turns and looks back at Harrowheart, an expression of utmost confusion and distaste plastered across his features. A short hiss of disgust escapes him.

"Hhhssss...Jim? Jim Kirk? Jim, the little nattering insect who continually insults me and acts shocked that I dare to reciprocate? You would think I'd care to fornicate with that smug excuse of an Overlander? I'd sooner eat my own horn."

A pause.

"Though if this has been a misled projection of his desire for me all along, I can hardly blame him for that. I am magnificent in all ways."

[westfallcorndog]

"This ain't about you eatin' your own horn. It's about gettin' Jim to eat your horn." Harrow rolls his eyes. Like, duh, dude.

"But why's he rude to you? What could be his beef other than secret affections? You've been nothin' but cool to me, and he's cool to me too, so I figure y'all got some common ground.

"Come to think of it, everyone in the Nexus's been cool to me except that runty lil' Viatorus. I think he's some kinda anti-undead racist. Vitalist?"

[ixis]

The comment about horns getting gobbled makes Naugus stick his tongue out in revulsion. Blegh. Better than responding with shock and anger, at least?

"You could always ask him. Imply that he's actually longing for me and doesn't realize it. I'm sure it'll go over splendidly."

The comments on V, however! "I rather like Viatorus. He's a little frightened whelp, to be sure, but he appreciates the arcane and is eager to learn. I'm still doubting the usefulness of his whole dream-walking abilities, but eh. A talent is a talent."

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow laughs at Naugus's tongue and gives him a friendly elbowing to the shoulder. "I'll see how I can slip it into conversation. Send out some... Waddya call 'em, subliminal messages?

"Now Viatorus... You know him? Tell me about this dreamwalkin' stuff. Mental magic ain't to be trusted on my world. No sure I like the idea of that guy rootin' around in heads. Least I don't gotta worry about him in MY head. I don't dream when I sleep, and I only sleep if I choose to."

[ixis]

"Oh, it's quite safe. I actually invited him over many months ago to sample my dreams and see what he would make of them. Given that I never remember them for as long as I can recall, and he insisted that dreams carry messages and meaning and the like. He set up some wards with chalk, put a sleeping spell on me and did his work. Though he's still yet to tell me what he saw.

"So maybe it's all sham and he just likes to watch people sleep. But he's earnest all the same. Very interested in magical research, which I appreciate."

[westfallcorndog]

Harrow nods slowly as he processes this information.

"What do you know about his sister? 'Cause I offered to give Viatorus lessons in magic and the two of them tried to scam me outta payment. Then I find out they're both rich and nothin' they ever gave me woulda cost them enough that they'd notice. Everyone tells me Viatorus is a good boy, I'm just tryna get a bead on these two."

[ixis]

"He has a sister? I've never met the woman, no. Viatorus is very...naive, however. Very sheltered. Perhaps he did not know any better? Perhaps he has no value on riches, given how he can easily take it for granted. I strongly doubt the boy has a single shrewd bone in his body. Can't speak on the sister, however. Perhaps I should meet her sometime."

Naugus shrugs. "Perhaps they don't care for the reanimated dead. It's a touchy subject in some zones."

[westfallcorndog]

"Her name's Isidor," Harrow says. "I know Overlanders ain't your thing but I thought she was real hot. Real smart in all senses of the word. Sharp-dressed, shrewd and crafty. I had a lotta respect for her until she tried to swindle me. Keep a close eye if you meet her, but I get the feelin' you two'd get along. For all the right reasons, of course.

"Verity's supposed to set up a meetin' between me and Viatorus. I oughta swing by her room again and see if she'll text him now while it's on my mind. Far as that shield goes, I'll come to you as soon as possible with a mockup. After that it's one favor of your choosing from me, whenever, wherever, however. Just... Nothin' too... Physical."

He turns to leave, but one stride later he snaps his fingers and spins on his heel. "Try her hot chocolate! You'll like it, man."

[ixis]

"I can open the door if you'd like to speak to Verity face to face, but that seems a little imposing." At least Naugus realizes that's a shitty thing to do. "I'll keep an eye out for this Isador, as you said. I'm curious how a relative of such a cowed little man could be as you describe her. Or maybe she's the reason he is?" He makes a considering hum along with a shrug.

"Verity keeps plying me with sweets. I'm going to get fat at this rate." Or just have to do that much more lifting and pull-ups.

[westfallcorndog]

"Don't think of it as gettin' fat. Think of it as bulkin' up."

With one last wink and laugh he turns to make his way back to Verity's room. Naugus is free to follow, of course, but Harrow doesn't look back to see if he does.

When he arrives at Verity's door he knocks loudly but not violently.

"Hey, Verity!" he says to the seam of the door. "Naugus and I are done doin' whatever two consenting adults do. I wanted to talk to you real quick! About Viatorus! Before I forget, I wanted you to text him. Tell him I wanna meet him as soon as possible so we can smooth over that bad first impression, arright?"

That gif... flawless. I am mesmerized.

[brave_heart_verity]

It's only because he said the magic word that the music is turned off, the door opens, and she appears again. Otherwise, it would have been a snarky comment about cleaning up after themselves. "Okay. Want me send him your number so you two can work it out directly?"

Because, yes, she loves the boy, but she loves the idea of him growing up, too. So she's perfectly willing to make him deal with Harrow on his own.