westfallcorndog | Starfleet Intercepts Distress Signal

Tonight, the night before the visit to Viatorus's mansion and his first trip to Earth, Harrowheart is avoiding sleep. There's just too much on his mind threatening to explode into more bizarre dreams. Staying awake is the best decision, he wagers. And while he's up, he might as well make someone else suffer with him. He sits on the kitchen counter in V's Nexus apartment with his phone in hand, and he's gotta admit... these tiny Steve fingers make texting so much easier.

Jim, yo. I need you to be my love doctor.

Oh, no. He can't send that. That's poorly-worded at best. He tries again.

Hey Jim, couldn't sleep and thinking of you

FUCK. Okay, erase. Once more with ~~feeling~~ self-awareness.

Jim! There's an alien princess I want to get with but I don't know what to do! You know this better than me. Need your advice. Text asap meeting her tomorrow.

Much better. He hits the send button and none-too-casually stares unblinkingly at his phone, eager and desperate for the response to come.

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When you wed the ship will you finally invite me to see her? Promise I won't steal you're girl. I mean I like big girls but not THAT big.

Harrowheart, how dare you text that way about Jim's beloved? He laughs quietly to himself and finds himself sinking a little deeper into the chair. Sleep... All this body wants to do is sleep. But he's having long-distance fun with his friends, and if there's one universal truth about the human condition it's that electronic conversations trump bodily functions.

What's the deal with their being no chicks here anyway. Sausage fest much? Also why are all the humans here white? Am I the only one who notices that?

He quickly follows up with

Sorry. OVERLANDERS lol. You feeling any hatred for the human race since you've been in Nowguss? Or have any more empathy moments? I want to hear that things are going better for you!

She's too much for you to handle, anyway. :P

It made Jim smile though, which means more than Harrow can know, with this topic under discussion.

There's plenty of women and other kinds of people outside the forum. I've had a good time with more than a few girls in the commercial district. Human is fine. That's what we are. I don't hate people but I sure am tired of Naugus. Things are fine though.

Not entirely true, but what he's learned--or thinks hes learned-- from this exercise isn't something he wants to talk about yet.

Harrow smiles at that first text. These two might as well be teen girls at a sleepover, smiling at bad jokes and chatting about who they like. In a way, they are all kind of at sleepovers... In someone else's body. Harrow spends a few seconds thanking fate that he wasn't turned into Naugus, but he keeps those thoughts to himself. That's probably the last thing Jim wants to hear right now.

Glad to hear your good. Hope this all blows over soon.

I think I got a game plan for tomorrow. Steve has a suit and V mentioned nice clothes for my real body I think? I am not going to buy a bottle of wine or anything because they are rich and I bet they know good wine. I'm not going to bring a gift at all. It would look like demure farm boy shit. I'm going to be confident but not a dick. I will not lie about anything and I will not tell them I am a cloud person. 

I might text you tomorrow as it all goes down if I have time. If I'm up shit creek I'll let you know. If this goes good I owe you a drink for the advice. If it goes bad we are going out anyway so we can laugh about my bad game. 

Thanks for the advice dude. Your a bro and I owe you!!

Starfleet Intercepts Distress Signal

http://tinyurl.com/hsdmhos

Laughed entirely too hard at that

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